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The Bleak Fortunes Tarot by Mr Jelley

Come Hell or Horticulture

The witches know which herbs to throw. Which roots to rub which grafts to grow. approach with caution lithe and slow the witches await you they await you, you know Take care with your diet, the ingredients have changed as times move on, the conditions of growth and forced cultivation. Those plants are not the same as the ones you eat as a child.

Canned Laughter

The machine is laughing and you should now laugh too. This card is the outsider, the person looking from the outside at the insiders joke. There is no humour here, no comedy just a perpetuation of isolation. There are sadnesses here which need to be addressed. Stop using false laughter to patch over the problems, focus on actions which will create true joy for you and all concerned.

By the Orders of Magnitude

A neglected church, the pervasive smell of damp overlaid with Brasso and Mr Sheen. On the salt blistering walls a purgatory of miserable saints cast their judgement on your failings. Oak pew-end carvings of many headed beasts eat pilgrims from pitchforks. Home knitted kneelers are padded with regret and building rubble. At the door a pack of curling postcards sit on top the donations box it’s padlock forced and the meagre contents enough to buy cigarettes and Tizer.

Black Water Paranoia

When blue waters turn inky black, sailors drink their rum and pray, no one sings, no one whistles, for the devil will come to play. Only fools swim here, dark fingers rising from the cold, searching for prey, smelling the fear, a taste for humanity as old as the grave. Drink your rum and wait for the dawn light.

Birth in the Briar Patch

You have a vein of ground elder running through your character, you can double dig and purge with chemicals but the plant will always return. It is your inheritance like a quick temper, like sourness of moods that can be contagious, a bad apple. Avoid ladders, count your change, never trust the milkman beyond his skill base.


Climb the mountain and the summit will greet you, it is a journey for you and the wilderness. Nobody really knows the obstacles which you personally face, perhaps it is easier for others, perhaps harder. Whatever the battle it is only between you and the mountain, others having been there is of no consequence to you.

Artist Anesthetic

What calms the mind of a creative? What slows down the dizzying thoughts of design and solution, everyone is a client, every thing has the potential to be improved. A fizzy banana, a train journey distraction, the DNA of disease, all waiting for the re design. what parts of your life need the creative to re vamp and up grade?

An intolerance of Celiacs

Do you have a self diagnosed intolerance to glutton?

Advice Man Cometh

This card is paired with The Empathy of Kings Some times advice is sought, other times it is proffered whether asked for or not. This card is about the latter, the advice is coming whether you want it it not! Prepare yourself, this advice will be cutting and catch you blind sided, it will be personal and hard to swallow, it will cause you pain and anxiety but even worse than all this, the advice will be true. So harden your skin and lean into the blow, swallow the news and face the rain. Ripping off the bandaid with smart for a short time then you can re build and move forward.

Abusive Masters

Treat your equipment with respect and it will lift your game, never put over the cleaning and tidying required today. The artist needs to keep the notion of ex centric asshole to those outside the team. Inside, the artist needs to welcome all as close family, putting their needs above his own, this way the artists core team will be stronger and lift the work to new heights. How do you treat 'the help' ?

A Cumulus of Moods

Some days your head is in a bin of wasps for no reason. Some days it is as if your whole house is on fire and has always been. A day like this is in the offing for you, when it arrives be patient with others, they may be bumbling incompetent fools but that is nothing new.

A Sack of Puppies

What fruits of your activities require drastic action? What un-sanctionable means will you deploy to repair and reset? Is that you taking delivery of a plastic bag full of half suffocated battery chickens? This is the farmers waste and bad not yours, all you do is provide a market for his misconduct. You give him permission to perpetrate this injustice again and again. Your actions, though well meaning are misguided, arrange for the delivery of the birds along with a reporter. How do you fit in to this picture?

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